I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
