You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
we should paint friendship bongs
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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