Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
