I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
