I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
