you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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