it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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