She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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