Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
