Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
