i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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