Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
