It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
