me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
