dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
