I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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