and my herpes radar will keep us safe
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
