Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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