And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
