She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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