I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
