I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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