i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize