she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
