Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize