his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
