I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize