fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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