i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
