Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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