maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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