just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
