i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
