The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
