his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
