i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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