Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
