if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
