i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
