She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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