I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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