Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
