Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
