She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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