I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
