there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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