you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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