are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
this boner is exhausting
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
