your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize