think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
