ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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