As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
