Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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