Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
