yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
