3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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