Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My life is pants optional.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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