We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
