turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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