Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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