he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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