how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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