my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
