so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
