Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
