we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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