names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
