Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
