he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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