Life is so much better after having sex.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize