is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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