Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
