I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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