Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize