Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
